Walmart Story part 1

Walmart gets us every time! Each visit to Walmart results in a new and hilarious story! Here's a stroke inducer:
My mother and I were shopping at Walmart one evening, and though we went there to specifically buy some Wilton cake making stuff for a party, it is just tradition to walk through the whole store, touching everything in site! My mother is worse than I am about this! However, so as not to forget what we came for, we went straight to the crafts department. I trailed my mother closely with the cart, careful not to run over her heals, as she is known to embarrass the living crud out of you if you did!
As mom approached the aisle with the Wilton products, there was a short, stocky man and his wife lookiing at the exact things we needed. Mom, still ahead of the cart, stood just behind the man, looking over his shoulder. I parked the cart by her rump and proceed to look around. However, I didn't realize that the cart had cornered her between her and the short man. All of the sudden, with swiftness like an antelope, mom turned around, eyes big as saucers, and you know how camels can close their nostrils to keep the sand out of their nose? That is what she was trying to do! I never knew there were so many muscles in the face around the nostrils! And I never knew my mother could make such faces! She stood straighter than straight, and she proceeded to bring her hands up, like how a child would act like a bunny rabbit, or a begging puppy, and then she used them to shoo me backwards. Remember, I had her cornered with the cart! I did NOT understand what she meant, or what she wanted me to do. After shooing me a few more times, she grabbed the front of the cart and shoved me, HARD, and then scooted away. I was still confused, and when I caught up to her, she told me that as she was bending over the guy, she heard this "poooooooh" sound, and then the smell hit her nose like a brick! She was so mad at me for keeping her cornered there, smelling this mans rotton insides!
After we stopped laughing and could breath fresh air again,we walked to the front of the store and began looking at the ladies clothes. Mom was looking at a round rack of plus size clothes, and I went to the clothes hanging on a wall. As I approached the side of a rather large woman, I heard an all out "Rrrrrrrrrriippppppppp"! I felt the air flow, smelled the stank, and as I turned around, there was my mother, about 6 feet away from me, and she yells, "Renae, was that YOU!?" I didn't even do it, but I was mortified! I responded, "NO!" Then we both busted up laughing, once again having to run to a different area of the store! Don't think it ended there. We decided to go to the shoe departemnt where we ran into a cloud of stank, not knowing who left it behind, and we decided it just was not the day to be at Walmart. We quickly grabbed what we needed, paid, and left. My mother swears that everytime we are in a Walmart, they keep the video surveillance of us for their training classes. They have to think we are drunk or up to something no good! If only they knew!