Just as a warning, I must tell you that I am recovering from a stroke and a stream of piss that could have cut glass! And mom is recovering from something that popped in her forehead (stroke) and blowing the back of her britches loose as she laughed so hard I thought she would pass out!
Ya see, it all started a few days ago. I was reading our local newspaper and came across a large section that contained the article about the Graham County Commissioners meeting. As I was reading it, I could see the comedy unfolding before me! So when mom came over for breakfast this morning, I told her she HAD to read this!
Her reaction was just like mine! So let me give you some insight:
This group of commissioners consist of three men, whom I know personally. In fact, mom was eating pancakes with one of them last night! So this makes it even more funny! Anyway, these three men met, and I will have to type exactly what was in the newspaper. (I will not type all of it as that would take too long, but the ones that stood out to mom and I will be what I share. However, note that the rest was pretty much comparable!)
"Graham County Commissioners Met"
"Commissioner Davignon made motion to designate the Hill City Times as the official newspaper for 2011. Commissioner Toll Seconded the motion. Motion carried 3-0."
(The Hill City Times is our ONLY newspaper!)
"Commissioner Toll made motion to designate Citizens State Bank, Farmers and Merchants Bank, and First State Bank
as the official depository for 2011. Commissioner Davignon seconded the motion . Motion carried 3-0."
(Those banks mentioned are the only banks here!)
Mom was laughing so hard! When she came up for air she said "it musta been a mighty slow week for the commissioners. Mimicking the motions that had been made, seconded and carried, she said, "I motion that Renae scratch her nose." I answered, "I second the motion." Mom stamped her fist on the table and said motion was carried!
Well, that got us started and I had to get the camera!! I wanted to video mom doing her rendition of the inner workings of this august body of elected officials. So I got the camera, but before mom could get herself ready for it, she spotted something else in that article that got her laughing. Then mom said "I make a motion Nae eat a peanut. I second the motion. Motion carried 3-0." Then mom said "Nae got a bellyache eating the peanut. I make a motion that she fart big. Motion carried 3-0." We were laughing so hard that in rapid succession mom burped, fell into a hysterical quivering heap on the table, farted loud and long, and then through gasping breaths, said MOTION CARRIED. I don't remember all the details now as I had a major black out! I knew I was gonna pee my pants so I raced to the bathroom, laughing so hard I could not untwine my legs without spraying my pants and walls and whatever else would be in the way! I could still hear mom laughing hard, and I was also laughing very hard, when I heard mom squeak between laughter and flatulence, "Motion carried!" That was it! It will take a week to recover! I was upset that I was not recording this as mom said that no one would believe this happened without a rehearsal.
I am sure that mom will have more to add to this, as I am still in pain and I have laughed uncontrollably while typing this!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
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