THE BIGGEST FISH STORY

Many, many years ago I worked in a community hospital in Michigan. There was a man who worked in maintenance and was, quite frankly, a blow-hard. Didn't matter where you went, what you did, he did it and it was bigger and better and he was an expert on it. Most of the time his bragging went in one ear and out the other, but one day when the cafeteria was crowded and the only place left to sit was at the "big table" which is where this fella was sitting. There were several people at the table, I'm thinking about 15, and someone mentioned fishing. Well, fishing was just something I happened to know a little bit about because that was what we did for fun, camp and fish. Why, my children CUT THEIR TEETH ON A FISHING ROD. So as this guy was telling about how he fished, what he used for bait, how big his fish were, I listened intently. Some of the guys at the table were discussing fishing. Now you have to understand that I weighed about 98 pounds soaking wet at the time and as this guy was telling the size of his fish (and they were growing exponentially as he continued with his story), I chimed in and said that I fish, too. CONVERSATION STOPPED. This guy and everybody else looked at me like I was lying. Then he asked me the size of the biggest fish I ever caught. I told him 3 inches. Oh the laughter. So I said what was the biggest fish you ever caught? And he said something like 25 inches. By now he is really bragging and making fun of me. So I asked him how he measured his fish. He said from the tip of its nose to the end of its tail. He is so blown up from pride at this point the buttons on his shirt are about to pop. I looked at him and said oh, well I measure my fish BETWEEN THE EYES. Everybody was laughing and this guy got MAD and left the table. I win.