NAE NAE GETS A TWO AND MOM GETS THE TONGUE

As per my usual routine, before my daughter abandoned me and moved out west, I would spend the weekend at her house where I wowed everybody with my unique Karaoke style. This particular weekend, however, we were busy getting ready for a baby shower. We made a fabric-covered photo album, a matching fabric-covered picture frame, and there was enough of the material left over to make a matching quilt. Nae lived in a tri-level house and I was on the lower level, sitting on the floor, pinning all the pieces of the quilt together when in through the front door comes Renae with a large animal. I asked her where she got the Clydesdale and she said it isn't a Clydesdale, it is a Labrador retriever. As one of her elderly friends already had 3 dogs she couldn't take care of she called and asked Renae to please take this dog. Since this was the second Labrador the elderly friend had been given she named her TWO. I'm thinking oh big woo, Thing One and Thing Two and that Renae is adding yet another thing that eats and poops to her menagerie. Now you have to understand there is just something about me and animals. For some reason they seem to like me.

So I am sitting on the floor, left leg stretched out on the left side of the quilt, right leg Indian fashion, bent at the waist pinning this thing together, when Two trots on down the 4 or so stairs, waltzes right over next to my outstretched left leg and cuddles right next to it. Which was FINE, except when I needed to wiggle around a little bit I couldn't get Two to move. I didn't want to move the quilt pieces because they weren't pinned good yet and I kept telling Two to move. Finally pushed her and she reluctantly moved just a little. I was able to shake my leg a little, and then I starting pinning more on the quilt. Two once again snuggled up to my outstretched left leg and this time when I told her to move she threw her front right leg over my leg and pinned me there. After much coercion she finally moved and I just kept pushing her to go away because I had only so much time to get this quilt done before my big Karaoke special! She moved away and I couldn't see her. Yay, she is leaving me alone. I once again bend over the quilt and started pinning it. I never saw it coming. Two came on the side of me, stuck her tongue in my left ear and it came out my right. That quilt NEVER got finished!