Don't have a tractor, mamma needs a goat

I will preface this by saying the neighbor's yard is a fright, they don't live there, and I don't have time to keep it mowed, so I wanted 2 goats. I got a goat and a half. So these are the emails that were passed around on Monday morning after the auction. I took out everybody's name except mine and Renae.

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Monday morning everyone. I am already pooped! I watered the garden and put straw under most of it! How is your day going?

Okay, here's the story.......Mom went to an auction the other day. Well, at first it was Grace and I at the auction. We bought 4 bales of straw and 3 large garden tubs. It got hot and I was hungry so we went home. Our purpose of going was to buy a goat to eat all the weeds in our neighbors yard! So Grace and I went home and mom wanted to go back with me. Grace wanted to stay home. We went back and guess what mom bought?? A pregnant goat! It's a small nanny goat. Mom wanted to get the Billy Goat but his balls were too big! (You have to ask her!) So, we have a cute little goat! Picture enclosed!

Renae
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I wanted to name the goat Ellen. I thought Renae and Sandie were going to pee their pants when I told them that. When Sandie came over to see the goat, she said the goat was just too cute to call it Ellen. (Billie, you will appreciate that story). So her name is Nanny. I was going to buy the boy goat, too, but they poised him so the back of him was facing me and what was hanging between his legs to his knees so was disgusting I didn't want him. I thought he was deformed. I would have named him Ellen, for sure. That goat didn't want to move. He sat down like a stubborn mule and it took 2 men pulling on his horns and another one pushing from the rear to get that goat to move. They sold a Llama for 15 bucks. I didn't know that Llamas eat weeds. He is 50 times bigger than Nanny. If I had bought to Llama to go with the goat, half an acre would have been eaten this morning. I may end up buying a Llama, too. I told Grace I was going to walk the goat down the street on a rhinestone leash and tell everyone it was my dog Spot. Then when I get the Llama I'm going to walk it down the street on a rhinestone leash and tell everyone it is my dog Spot. Then I'm going to take turns putting the cats on a rhinestone leash and telling everybody they are my dog Spot.

Couldn't figure out where there were 2 fences across the back yard, one about 4 feet tall, then about 2 feet of walk way and then the 8 or 9 feet tall fence with barbed wire. Grace saw a white tailed deer out there yesterday so that explains the fences. They ain't gonna get my blueberries, grapes, or watermelon.

Love you,
Mom


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Follow up message
Well, the auction was interesting. It was HOT in there. We were sitting by the door where they were bringing in the animals. Renae had to put on makeup and cute clothes to SIT IN AN ANIMAL AUCTION. I picked myself right up out of the dirt pile in the yard and went. Sweat pouring off me so that I literally looked like a mud pie. Didn't care. Needed a goat. Figured the goat wouldn't mind. So I'm sitting next to Renae and the auctioneer is speaking some kind of language I don't understand but every so often I could make out a price. We were having fun watching all the animals and there was a goose that all of a sudden poked his head up through the chicken wire on his box, like a jack-in-the-box. He looked around, quacked "AFLAK" and then dropped fast back into the box like he fell off a 10-foot roof. I couldn't stop laughing. And that was when we saw the WASP. Renae doesn't like wasps. She said they get lost in her hair so she shoos it toward ME. I told her if it lands on me I'll stand up and do a "get-that-wasp-off-me-now" dance, which would be the WRONG thing to do at an auction, as we'd have bought the entire menagerie. Auction over. One skinny old cowboy was yelling "Ho" and pointing at people every time the auctioneer was doing his 180-mph sentences and I didn't know if he was asking for one or calling us one. He tried to talk a young guy sitting next to us into buying the llama and this kid says "You couldn't GIVE me a Llama" and then he says "How would I even get one home." Ahhh, the cue I had been waiting for. I told him "you have to ride it, it's cheaper than gas." He wasn't amused, but the old cowboy was. There is a lot more that is hilarious but I need to get to work. Suffice to say, we got a 2-for, a pregnant nanny. Maybe I'll get a little boy goat out of this deal.

Love you,
Mom
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By the way, we can't let the goat in our yard because it would probably eat our tent!